______ _ _____ |___ / | | |_ _| / / ___ _ __| | __ | | / / / _ \| '__| |/ / | | / /_| (_) | | | < _| |_ /_____\___/|_| |_|\_\ |_____| THE GREAT UNDERGROUND EMPIRE FAQ/Walkthrough v 1.3 by TUI: The Unknown Individual ___ _ _ _ | _.|_ | _ / \_|_ / _ .__|_ _ .__|_ _ |(_||_)|(/_ \_/ | \_(_)| ||_(/_| ||__> :::::::::::::::::::::::table of contents 1) Intro 2) Basic Sentence Structure 3) Common Verbs 4) Walkthrough a) The Jeweled Egg b) The Troll c) The Dead Adventurer d) Cyclops e) Exorcism f) A Quick Detour g) Fighting the Thief h) The Treasure Chest in the Reservior i) Coal Mines j) Eerie Silence k) The End of the Rainbow l) Row, Row, Row Your Boat m) Ramses Coffin o) Into the Tomb... 5) Ways to Lose 6) Treasure List 7) Useless Stuff 8) Outtro ___ | .__|_.__ _|_| ||_|(_) :::::::intro "Zork 1: The Great Underground Empire" is an old text-based adventure game. The game plays much like a standard adventure with one major exception: there are no graphics whatsoever. Each time you enter a room, you are given a brief description of the room and its contents. To perform an action, you type in a command. This game is currently classified "abandonware," which means that its owners have released their rights to it and it is now available for download. You can get Zork I, Zork II, and Zork III all from www.dosgames.com (as well as a bunch of other cool DOS games as well). The idea behind Zork I is simple: find all nineteen treasures scattered across the game and return them all to the trophy case inside the white house. It's a lot harder than it seems. _ __ __ |_) _. _o _ (_ _ .__|_ _ ._ _ _ (__|_._ __|_ .__ |_)(_|_>|(_ __)(/_| ||_(/_| |(_(/_ __)|_||_|(_ |_|_||(/_ ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::basic sentence structure Sentences in Zork I are very basic indeed, usually consisting solely of a verb and a noun, and sometimes not even that complicated. Typical sentences give an action and a direct object to perform that action on, such as "OPEN CASE" or "GET SWORD." Movement commands can be made as complicated or as easy as you want. To move, you can use either the "GO" or "WALK" commands in conjunction with one of 12 directions. You can also skip the verb if you wish, and merely type the direction, i.e., "SOUTH." You can even abbreviate some directions even further, i.e., "NW." The 12 directions Zork recognizes are: NORTH SOUTH EAST WEST NORTHEAST SOUTHEAST NORTHWEST SOUTHWEST UP DOWN IN OUT The second most important set of commands used in the game are "TAKE," "DROP," and "PUT." You can use these commands to take items from the room, drop items in the room, and put items inside other items (such as a trophy case, for example). Ex: "TAKE SWORD" "DROP BELL" "PUT TREASURE IN CASE" You can also compound these commands: Ex: "TAKE SWORD, BELL" "TAKE ALL" "DROP ALL BUT SWORD, BELL" Most commands are quite intuitive, and you should get the hang of it in no time at all. _ / _ ._ _ ._ _ _ ._ \ /_ ._|_ _ \_(_)| | || | |(_)| | \/(/_| |_)_> :::::::::::::::::::::::common verbs Part A: Common commands and abbreviations ----------------------------------------- AGAIN (G): Repeat previous command. BRIEF: Commands the narrator to only describe a room the first time you enter it. Subsequent visits will only result in the name of the room and a list of items in it. DIAGNOSE: Tells your current physical condition. INVENTORY (I): Lists all the items you currently have. LOOK (L): Describes the room you are currently in. QUIT (Q): Quits the game. RESTART: Restarts the game from the beginning. RESTORE: Loads a saved game. SAVE: Saves a game. SCORE: Shows your current score, number of turns, and current rank. SUPERBRIEF: Commands the narrator to never describe a room; only give its name and items. VERBOSE: Commands the narrator to always describe a room regardless of whether or not you have visited it before. WAIT (Z): Causes a turn to pass without anything occurring (for instance, if you are waiting for a slight wound to heal). Part B: Common verb list ANSWER FOLLOW SAY ATTACK GIVE SEARCH BLOW INFLATE SHAKE BREAK JUMP SLIDE BURN KICK SMELL CLIMB KNOCK STAY CLOSE LIGHT STRIKE COUNT LISTEN SWIM CROSS LOCK TAKE CUT LOOK TELL DEFLATE LOWER THROW DIG MOVE TIE DRINK OPEN TOUCH DROP POUR TURN EAT PRAY UNLOCK ENTER PULL WAKE EXAMINE PUSH WALK EXIT PUT WAVE EXTINGUISH RAISE WEAR FILL READ WIND \ /_.||_|_|_ .__ _ |_ \/\/(_|||<|_| ||(_)|_|(_|| | _| ::::::::::::::::::walkthrough A) The Jeweled Egg ------------------ If you care to, you can OPEN MAILBOX and READ LEAFLET, but it's not important. Go NORTH twice, then CLIMB TREE. In the bird's nest is a jeweled egg, so go ahead and TAKE EGG. You can't open it with what you have, and even if you had the right tools you don't have the expertise, so we'll have to find someone who can. B) The Troll ------------ Go DOWN, SOUTH, then EAST. You are now behind the house and a window is ajar. OPEN WINDOW, then go WEST. Take the BOTTLE and go WEST. Go ahead and OPEN CASE and TAKE SWORD, LANTERN. Go EAST and UP. The attic is dark, so TURN LANTERN ON and TAKE ROPE. TURN LANTERN OFF (to save battery power) and go DOWN, WEST. There's a very suspicious rug on the floor, so MOVE RUG to reveal a trap door. OPEN TRAP DOOR and go DOWN. The door closes above you and is locked (by the Cyclops; we'll defeat him later). It's dark here too, so TURN LANTERN ON. Your sword is glowing, indicating a dangerous enemy nearby, so get ready to fight. SAVE your game before the fight; if you take any damage at all, RESTORE; there's no point in going around with a wound. Go NORTH and FIGHT TROLL WITH SWORD. Repeat the process until the troll is dead. Once he is dead, DIAGNOSE. If you are in anything other than perfect health, RESTORE and try again until you beat him with perfect health. C) The Dead Adventurer ---------------------- Go WEST into the Maze. This is one of the most confusing parts of the game, so it would be helpful to either have a map or to follow my instructions to the letter (realize that just because you go north into one room, going south won't necessarily get you back). You can consult the MAZE MAP on www.gamefaqs.com if you need help. During the maze you may encounter a "seedy" man, a "hungry" man, or a thief. If he steals from you, don't worry about it. Any treasures he takes from you can be recovered later; and actually, you want him to take the jeweled egg. He has the expertise and the tools to open it, so if you encounter him, GIVE EGG TO THIEF, then immediately leave the room and come back. Go SOUTH, EAST, UP to reach the dead adventurer. Whatever you do, don't disturb the skeleton or a ghost will arise and take every piece of treasure you have and banish it to the Land of the Living Dead (which takes some doing to access). Besides, we really don't want that fragile egg damaged, and we're still looking for someone to take care of it for us. TAKE COINS, then go SOUTHWEST, EAST, SOUTH, and SOUTHEAST. D) Cyclops ---------- Oh my! How in the world can you beat this guy? Fighting him with a sword would be suicide, so we're going to have to figure out a clever way to either kill him, make him docile, or make him leave. SAY "ULYSSES" I'm not quite sure what that means, but apparently Ulysses was some character from Greek mythology that either killed the Cyclops or his father or something like that. Who cares; by saying that name the Cyclops runs in fear out of the room. You now have safe passage back to the house. Go NORTHWEST and DROP COINS (trust me) then go back SOUTHEAST. Now, SAVE your game. If you haven't already given the egg to the thief, go UP. You will enter the thief's hideout, and he will rush to defend it. If he harms you, RESTORE your game and keep trying until he doesn't do any damage to you. Then GIVE EGG TO THIEF and immediately go DOWN and NORTHWEST. TAKE COINS, then go SOUTHEAST, EAST, and EAST. OPEN CASE and PUT TREASURE IN CASE. SAVE your game. At this point, you should have one of nineteen treasures in the case: "A leather bag of coins." E) Exorcism ----------- Go back DOWN and prepare for the exorcism process. Just in case you're curious, the cellar area leads to a room called "Entrance to Hades," which is currently blocked by a gang of evil spirits denying you entrance (although why you would want to go into Hades is beyond me). The exorcism process is fairly complicated and requires items from across the map, so hang with me here. Go NORTH then EAST to the East-West Passage. From here go NORTH to the Chasm, NORTHEAST to Reservior South, and EAST to the Dam. Go NORTH to the Dam Lobby and TAKE MATCHBOOK. At this point, go back SOUTH and SOUTH again to the Deep Canyon. From here, go DOWN to the Loud Room. You can't do anything in this room while the noise is so loud, so for now just go WEST. The Round Room has exits in all directions, but most are blocked off. For now you want to go SOUTHEAST to the Engravings room and EAST to the Dome Room. You are high up in the Dome Room, and you quite obviously would like to go down. Jumping would be suicide, so why don't you use a little ingenuity and TIE ROPE TO RAILING, then go DOWN. You are now in the Torch Room. The Torch is a treasure, but we'll hold off on taking it for now. Go SOUTH and TAKE BELL. Go SOUTH again to the Altar. TAKE CANDLES and TAKE BOOK. A rather sad commandment, isn't it? Go DOWN. At this point, you can't go back up (although there is another way to get back). You are in a cave. A dark, forbidding staircase leads down. So go DOWN of course! Welcome to the Entrance to Hades. Fighting the spirits would be suicide; besides, you can't attack a spirit with a material weapon. So now, let the exorcism process begin! First off, OPEN MATCHBOOK to get that out of the way. To begin, RING BELL. The spirits are shaken, and stop jeering. In the confusion, you drop the candles. LIGHT MATCH, then LIGHT CANDLES WITH MATCH. Now, show the spirits your unearthly power and WAVE CANDLES. The spirits are in complete fear, and it won't take much to completely eliminate them. Now finish them off and READ BOOK. The spirits are gone. You now have access to the Land of the Living Dead, so now would be a good time to SAVE. By the way, if you want to get the bell back, you can POUR WATER ON BELL and then TAKE BELL. Also, you'll want to PUT CANDLES OUT so as to save the wax. Your lantern won't last forever, and there are only a limited number of light supplies in the game so you'll want to conserve light whenever possible. Go ahead and DROP BOTTLE too (you won't need it). Go SOUTH into the Land of the Living Dead and TAKE SKULL. Getting back will take a while, but it's not too bad: NORTH, UP, NORTH, NORTH, NORTH, WEST, WEST, and SOUTH. F) A Quick Detour ----------------- We'll make a quick detour to grab a treasure while we can. Go SOUTH and EAST. Now become a vandal and TAKE PAINTING. Retrace your steps and go WEST, NORTH, UP. G) Fighting the Thief --------------------- Beating the thief requires a combination of luck and ingenuity. To begin, TAKE COINS, then go WEST twice. SAVE here (you'll be restoring your game a lot if your luck goes sour). To begin the fight, go NORTH. You need a good advantage. There is a random chance that the thief will not immediately attack when you enter the room, and that is your advantage. If he does not attack you when you first enter, RESTORE and try again. If he does not immediately attack, or you avoid his attack, GIVE COINS TO THIEF. Your goal is to catch him off guard, so when he takes the coins, immediately KILL THIEF WITH SWORD. Hopefully you'll get a good hit on him; if you don't at least give him a minor wound, RESTORE and try again. If you get a hit on him, then play to his weakness again and GIVE SKULL TO THIEF. Repeat the process; if you do damage or if you knock him back or knock him out, then keep going by using the AGAIN command. Continue until one of you dies. If he dies, SAVE, then go DOWN, EAST, and EAST again. TURN LANTERN OFF and DIAGNOSE. WAIT however many turns it takes to heal your wounds before continuing. Now, go WEST, WEST, and UP. Here, take all of the treasures. Go DOWN, EAST, and EAST and PUT ALL TREASURES IN CASE. Return to the Thief's Hideout and take the stiletto. Return to the treasure case and SAVE. Go ahead and quickly TAKE CANARY, go EAST twice, then go NORTH TWICE. Go UP and WIND CANARY. I can't believe I never thought to do this; it was right in front of my eyes! Go DOWN and TAKE BAUBLE. SOUTH, EAST, WEST, WEST, PUT ALL TREASURE IN CASE. SAVE. H) The Treasure Chest in the Reservior -------------------------------------- You'll need to drain the reservior to get the treasure chest, so let's get to it. Draining the reservior requires turning the dam control, so getting to the dam is the first priority. From the case, go DOWN, NORTH, EAST, NORTH, NORTHEAST, and EAST. This is the dam control, and it is quite obvious what your ultimate goal is. But you need a couple things first. Go NORTH twice. PUSH RED BUTTON and TURN LANTERN OFF (to save batteries). Now TAKE WRENCH, SCREWDRIVER and PUSH YELLOW BUTTON. From here go SOUTH twice. Notice that the bubble is currently glowing? You can now TURN BOLT WITH WRENCH. It will take a little while for the reservior to drain, so WAIT a few turns until it happens. From here, go WEST (you'll need to TURN LANTERN ON) and then NORTH to the reservior. DROP ALL BUT LANTERN and go NORTH twice. TAKE TRIDENT, then go SOUTH twice. TAKE TRUNK. Return to the trophy case: SOUTH, SOUTHWEST, SOUTHWEST, WEST, SOUTH, UP. PUT ALL TREASURE IN CASE and SAVE. I) The Coal Mines ----------------- Before we enter the coal mines we need a little insurance against a very annoying vampire bat, so go EAST. OPEN SACK and TAKE GARLIC. Go back WEST, then DOWN, NORTH, EAST, NORTH, NORTHEAST, and NORTH. TAKE ALL (the stuff you dropped earlier). Pretty soon you'll get message saying that your lamp appears dimmer. This is due to the fact that the batteries are dying - we'll need to finish our trip to the coal mines before they die out (because fire-based light sources are dangerous in the coal mines). From here go NORTH, UP, NORTH, NORTH, WEST, NORTH, WEST, NORTH. TAKE FIGURINE and go EAST. PUT SCREWDRIVER IN BASKET. You won't actually be doing anything with the basket right now, but since you're here, you might as well drop it off here seeing as how you won't use it anywhere else. To conserve space, you might as well DROP MATCHBOK, CANDLES as well. Go NORTH, then DOWN. TAKE BRACELET, then go EAST, NORTHEAST, SOUTHEAST, SOUTHWEST, DOWN, DOWN, and WEST. Here, DROP ALL BUT LANTERN. Go EAST, then SOUTH. TAKE COAL, then go NORTH, UP, UP, NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, and NORTH. From here go UP and then SOUTH. TAKE CANDLES, MATCHBOOK. LIGHT MATCH, then LIGHT CANDLE WITH MATCH. PUT CANDLE, COAL IN BASKET and then LOWER BASKET. The basket should only contain a screwdriver, lit candles (for light), and a small pile of coal. You should only have a matchbook and a lantern. Go NORTH, DOWN, EAST, NORTHEAST, SOUTHEAST, SOUTHWEST, DOWN, WEST. At this point, DROP ALL, then GO WEST. That basket that you lowered is now in this room, so go ahead and TAKE CANDLES, COAL, SCREWDRIVER and go SOUTH. Ready for some fun? OPEN LID, PUT COAL IN MACHINE, CLOSE LID, and MOVE SWITCH WITH SCREWDRIVER. OPEN LID to reveal a huge diamond! TAKE DIAMOND, then go NORTH and PUT CANDLE, DIAMOND, SCREWDRIVER IN BASKET. GO EAST. Here, TAKE ALL BUT TIMBER, STILETTO and then backtrack. EAST, UP, UP, NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, NORTH, UP, SOUTH. RAISE BASKET and TAKE CANDLE, DIAMOND. We've got three pieces of treasure on us, so we need to get back to the trophy case right quick. Go WEST, SOUTH, EAST, SOUTH, DOWN, UP. Now PUT ALL TREASURE IN CASE. SAVE. J) Eerie Silence ---------------- Go back DOWN, then go NORTH, EAST, EAST, NORTH, NORTHEAST, and EAST. Now TURN BOLT WITH WRENCH. What you've done is cause the dam to stop up again. When it was closed, the Loud Room was loud because of the water pouring over the top. Then you opened it. The Loud Room is still loud because water is still pouring over. However, now that you've closed it, the Loud Room has become quiet because water is no longer rushing over the top anymore. However, this will only last a few turns, so quickly go SOUTH and then DOWN. TAKE BAR and go WEST. ALTERNATE PATH: Recently I read online of another way to make the Loud Room become quiet. Apparently if you SAY "ECHO" the room becomes quiet; why I don't know. It makes no sense; I personally don't see how anybody could have figured that one out. By now, the batteries in your lantern are really draining, so you need an alternate light source; and fast. So go SOUTHEAST, EAST, and DOWN. TURN LANTERN OFF, DROP LANTERN, CANDLES and TAKE TORCH. The torch is actually another treasure, but it's also an effectively inexhaustable light source, so you can't lose. Now go SOUTH and EAST. OPEN COFFIN and TAKE SCEPTRE. Go WEST, SOUTH, DOWN, NORTH, NORTH, NORTH, WEST, WEST, SOUTH, and UP. You know the drill, but this time it's a little different, just to let you know. PUT ALL TREASURE BUT SCEPTRE IN CASE. SAVE. K) End of the Rainbow --------------------- From the case go EAST, EAST, EAST, EAST, DOWN, DOWN, NORTH. The rainbow is currently not solid (as in, you can't walk on it), but as you know there is always a pot of gold at the end of any rainbow. WAVE SCEPTRE. Amazing! TAKE POT. Oh, but this is far from over - go EAST, EAST, NORTH, NORTH. TAKE SWORD and go NORTHEAST. Now, DIG IN SAND WITH SHOVEL until you reach the scarab. Take it - it's another treasure. Backtrack all the way to the trophy case: SOUTHWEST, SOUTH, SOUTH, WEST, WEST, SOUTHWEST, UP, UP, NORTHWEST, WEST, WEST, WEST. PUT ALL TREASURE BUT TORCH IN CASE. L) Row, Row, Row Your Boat -------------------------- Two more treasures; the fun never stops. Go DOWN, NORTH, EAST, EAST, EAST, UP, NORTHWEST, NORTH, and NORTH. TAKE PUMP. Now go SOUTH, SOUTH, EAST, DOWN, and TAKE PLASTIC. This pile of plastic is actually an inflatable boat, and you'll use the hand air pump to inflate it. But we need a good place to launch the boat; so here goes: Go UP, SOUTH, DOWN, EAST, and EAST. From here, DROP ALL BUT PUMP, TORCH and prepare to INFLATE PLASTIC. The plastic will inflate into a boat complete with a tan label inside. You don't have to, but if you feel like it you can READ LABEL (just be sure to drop it; it's unimportant). GET IN BOAT and LAUNCH BOAT. You can't control the path of the boat; its completely dependent upon the flow of the river. WAIT until you reach an area with a red buoy and TAKE BUOY. Now LAND (to the EAST). Of course, the buoy isn't the treasure you dope - but if you OPEN BUOY you'll find a large emerald. TAKE EMERALD and DROP BUOY. GET OUT OF BOAT, DEFLATE BOAT, and TAKE PLASTIC. How convenient! The path back to the treasure case is SOUTH (once or twice, depending). At "Aragain Falls" go WEST, WEST, SOUTHWEST, UP, UP, NORTHWEST, WEST, WEST, WEST, and WEST one more time. There you go - PUT EMERALD IN CASE. You'll want your items back, I'm sure, so go DOWN, NORTH, EAST (five times). TAKE ALL BUT LABEL and SAVE. M) Ramses Coffin ---------------- You know this coffin; you've seen it before. Now it's time to add it to your collection. You should be at White Cliffs Beach, so go WEST, WEST, WEST, SOUTHEAST, EAST, DOWN, SOUTH, and EAST. TAKE COFFIN, dropping whatever is necessary to take it (anything but the torch; you need it because it is the last treasure). It's almost over! Go SOUTH, and then PRAY. Incredible! You couldn't get the coffin out any other way, but a magic warp is always acceptable. Go WEST, SOUTH, SOUTHEAST, WEST, and WEST. Here, PUT ALL TREASURE IN CASE. O) Into the Tomb ---------------- By filling the trophy case with treasure, you caused a secret parchment to appear. READ PARCHMENT to learn about a secret path out of the largest clearing (the one with the house; the one that you're in). Go EAST, EAST, SOUTHWEST, NORTHWEST, and SOUTHWEST to reach the entrance to the tomb. From here, go IN... \ /_. _ _|_ _ | _ _ _ \/\/(_|\/_> |_(_) |_(_)_>(/_ ::::::::/:::::::::ways to lose This section chronicles the different subtle ways you can lose. Doing these things will make the game impossible to beat but you won't necessarily realize that you have lost. 1) If you EAT GARLIC before you have passed through the coal mines for the first time, you can't win. There is a jade figurine in the bat room that you can't get if you don't have the garlic on your possession. 2) If you KILL THIEF before you GIVE EGG TO THIEF, you won't be able to open the egg and get the canary or the brass bauble. 3) If you fail the exorcism (i.e, the demons return to their normal state before you exorcise them) you only have one more chance; you can POUR WATER ON BELL and try again. Also, if you carry the candles around too long and they burn out, you can't do the exorcism either. 4) If your lantern goes out before you pass through the coal mines, you can't win because you need a non-flame-based light source to get through the gas room. 5) If you puncture the boat (try to get into it while carrying a sword) you can't get the large emerald. 6) The torch is an eternal light source, but if the thief takes it and you run out of other light sources, you're stuck. 7) If you PUSH BLUE BUTTON in the maintence room and the room fills up with water before you get the wrench and screwdriver out of there, you can't get either the treasure chest or the huge diamond. __ _ _ | | _ _ | _ _ _ (__|_ _|__|_ |_|_>(/_|(/__>_> __)|_|_|| | :::::::::::::::::useless stuff This is my personal collection of useless stuff you can do in the game; little tidbits that the programmers threw in. Whenever I come up with anything else I'll add it in here. 1) Screaming. If you feel like it, you can SCREAM at any point you would care to. Nothing happens except that you, well, scream. 2) Do you know the narrator's name? It's "Zork," actually. How can you tell? SAY "ZORK" and the narrator will say "At your service!" 3) JUMP to receive a few taunts from the narrator, such as "Congratulations. You can now pass the second grade." 4) Suicide is possible; KILL SELF WITH SWORD. Although why you would want to is beyond me. ___ _ |.__ _. _ .__ / |_ _ _| |o __|_ ||(/_(_|_>|_||(/_ \_| |(/_(_|<||_> |_ :::::::::::::::::::::treasure checklist Treasures that require other treasures to get are marked with both the name of the room they are in as well as the treasure required. [ ] Brass Bauble (Up A Tree/Jeweled Egg) [ ] Crystal Skull (Land of the Living Dead) [ ] Leather Bag of Coins (Atlantis Room) [ ] Golden Clockwork Canary (Thief's Hideout/Jeweled Egg) [ ] Huge Diamond (Machine Room) [ ] Ivory Torch (Torch Room) [ ] Jade Figurine (Bat Room) [ ] Jeweled Scarab (Sandy Cave/Ramses Sceptre) [ ] Jewel-Encrusted Egg (Up A Tree) [ ] Large Emerald (Frigid River) [ ] Platinum Bar (Loud Room) [ ] Posiedon's Trident (Atlantis Room) [ ] Pot of Gold (End of Rainbow/Ramses Sceptre) [ ] Ramses Coffin (Egyptian Room) [ ] Ramses Sceptre (Egyptian Room) [ ] Sapphire Bracelet (Gas Room) [ ] Silver Chalice (Thief's Hideout) [ ] Trunk of Jewels (Reservior) [ ] Valuable Painting (Gallery) _ / \ _|__|_.__ \_/|_||_ |_|(_) :::::::::outtro Thanks to DKW001 for his Zork I FAQ that got me through the fight with the Cyclops and that found the bauble. Thanks to my cousin for suggesting the mirror warp and the first method for making the loud room quiet. Thanks to my uncle who discovered the inflatable boat. And thanks to everyone who put up with me playing this antiquated yet insanely fun game. All ASCII art by FIGlet: www.figlet.com This has been a Zork I FAQ by TUI: The Unknown Individual. This FAQ may only be found at: http://www.gamefaqs.com http://www.dh.net TUI can be contacted at: onceuponatimetherewasasquirrelwholived@hotmail.com That is, Once Upon A Time There Was A Squirrel Who Lived At Hotmail Dot Com This FAQ is Copyright (C) 2002 by TUI, the Unknown Individual. Any unauthorized reproduction of this document will be prosecuted under the fullest extent of the law. END OF TRANSMISSION...